Things to remember when you’re going through stressful/hard times
I’ve felt overwhelmed lately, with corporate America’s egotistical crap. Ahhhh I feel better just writing that out.
I feel incredibly turned off when I see humans’ egos possess them and direct their every action… And sometimes I feel like I’m also getting sucked into it as well…I get upset, defensive, pissed off, etc….my ego comes out and I enter the ego game.
The good thing is that I am aware of this, and I try to nip it in the bud as soon as I catch my ego taking over. Sometimes my reaction time is quicker than others… After all I’m still developing this emotional muscle. The good thing is that I’m aware and now I can’t become unaware…once you know the ego exists you can’t unlearn that.
I thought it would be a great idea to keep a list of tips/things to remember during times of stress and challenges, one I can go back to whenever I need to review the things I’ve learned in order to be able to stay grounded and not get sucked into the egotistical world. And I wanted to share this list with you…maybe it can help you too!
– It’s not Personal & Be Compassionate. The other person is acting that way because of their internal shit: their fears, insecurities, it’s their egos talking and doing. If you think about it for a second you will be able to clearly see this. So try hardddddddd to be as compassionate as possible. Who knows what internal struggles they’re going through? Clearly they are unaware of the existence of their ego. If you don’t take it personal, they can’t hurt you…there for you won’t be angry either because you won’t feel offended. Seeing it this way totally lightens your mood and your perspective of the whole situation. If you do feel upset, make sure to feel it, process it and LET IT GO. This way it won’t be an emotional blockage you’ll carry around from now on. It’s extremely important to make sure to fully process these feelings as soon as they occur. Once you do, you can feel a weight lifted off of you, and you can continue your life as before, not taking on this extra weight.
– Pain vs Suffering: as Tony Robbins says, pain is a fact of life, but suffering is a choice. Pain is inevitable, and you should allow yourself to feel it. However, you CHOOSE if you stay there and sink yourself in a hole, or you grow and learn from it. Many people, including myself, become addicted to being the victim… to feeling like everyone is against us and out to get us. Again, it’s not personal. Sure, if something painful happens, FEEL IT, allow yourself to be sad, to feel the pain, but not from a “victim” perspective (not ‘poor me’). Once you allow yourself to feel this pain, you can move on in a healthy and permanent way.
– You Always Have a Choice. This is a BIG ONE to remember and related to the previous one. Nobody or no situation “makes” you act a certain way. It’s your choice. So own up to it. And try to take a deep breath and think things through when making a choice, saying something or taking an action. Take responsibility for your actions. You are not a victim of circumstance, you have a choice always. A choice to be a victim or to overcome. A choice to let fear paralyze you or to be courageous and push through your fear. A choice to suffer or to grow. A choice to hold onto pain, anger, a grudge, or a choice to forgive (compassion). Remember, we forgive not for others, but for ourselves…only this way can we have peace within.
– Trust the Process. Trust in The Universe/Life/God/Whatever You Believe In. Trust that whatever you’re going through is not because the universe hates you and wants to make you miserable. It’s because this is a blessing in disguise… Because it’s going to be an incredible experience of growth and learning. Yes, you may endure a lot of pain… But it’s for a purpose. You might not see it now, but if you look back at your life, and at the troubling times you’ve had before, THERE IS YOUR EVIDENCE. It all worked out the best way possible. The universe knows what it gives you and when it gives it to you.
– Let Go of the Outcome & Let Go of the Illusion that You’re in Control. This one I’ve struggled a LOT with. Only now I’m semi-learning to let go. There are two versions of your life. The version you made up for yourself in your head (your blueprint and timeline and how you plan and want everything to be, how you EXPECT your life to be) and then there is the REAL VERSION… THE NOW. What’s happening NOW is your life. Again, TRUST that this life is the life that you’re truly meant to be living, that what happens is for a reason, and ENJOY THE NOW.
– Breathe and Be Present. Stop worrying about the future and what might be. Stop dwelling on the past and what was. The only life we have is NOW. This moment. THE PRESENT. Be mindful of yourself, of your life now. Being mindful means: a mental state achieved by focusing one’s awareness on the present moment, while calmly acknowledging and accepting one’s feelings, thoughts, and bodily sensations, used as a therapeutic technique. Take deep breaths…become present, feel your body, clear your mind. Whenever your mind starts wandering, reel yourself back into the present. Be aware of this and once you begin to practice it, you will become better and better at it. If you ever find yourself freaking out at “What If’s”…remember, there is no sense in worrying. It’s not in your control. Trust. And Come back to the present moment. STOP WORRYING, GET OUT OF YOUR HEAD, AND START LIVING AND ENJOYING YOUR LIFE!
– Change Expectation for Appreciation. This is one from Tony Robbins which I find to be so simple and true, but hard to do sometimes. Appreciate your blessings, remind yourself every day of this. Don’t take the blessings in your life for granted. If you’re in a rut and think “my life suck there are no blessings”. Take a moment to really reflect: life, health, family, food, work, friends, purpose, faith, spirituality, hobbies, etc. Maybe you’re missing one of these right now, it’s okay. Things will get better. Work toward improving things, but in the meantime, BE GRATEFUL AND ENJOY YOUR BLESSINGS. Stop expecting your life to be a certain way. Work hard toward your goals, yes, don’t just sit back and expect the universe to deliver. You do have to put in work, but also be Okay with what your life looks like now.
-Be True To Yourself, Love Yourself, Live Your Purpose and BE SUSTAINABLY HAPPY.
It’s human instinct to protect ourselves from danger, to run in the face of fear. To play it safe. Well, I’ve got news for you: Playing it safe doesn’t necessarily guarantee happiness. But NOT chasing after your dreams does guarantee unhappiness. Not living the life you dream of, working for the goals you want to achieve because of fear (fear of failure, fear of not being good enough), not taking risks and just staying within your comfort zone because of this same fear is the same as not living. I do think we should all be responsible, I’m not telling you to bet your house on a new investment. However, take calculated risks, but do take a risk. YOU HAVE THE POWER TO DESIGN THE LIFE YOU WANT TO HAVE. It’s scary, yes it is. But when you CHOOSE COURAGE, and power through that fear and do things anyway… oh the possibilities are endless! Be true to yourself and your desires. Work towards them. And in the process, be kind to yourself, love yourself, and don’ be hard on yourself if you make mistakes (which you will make, we all do, we are human!). I can’t imagine a more horrible thing than laying on my death bed and asking myself “what would my life have been like IF I HAD_____”. I don’t want to have regrets of NOT doing something. I encourage you to do the same…and I PROMISE YOU, YOU WILL HAVE A BEAUTIFUL& FULFILLED LIFE.
So whatever you’re going through right now, realize that you’re not alone. We are all going through things. However, the difference lies in YOUR PERCEPTION, how you decide to view this challenge/obstacle/situation. It’s possible to go through a hard time but not suffer… that’s the balance we should all try to attain.
