How to set goals & actually stick to them in 2020
JANUARY – the time of year we make our resolutions for the year ahead, when we promise ourselves “this year will be different”, when everything resets, and we feel like we have a clean slate. This time of year feels refreshing, light, exciting and promising.
However, either one week, one month or a few months later, we have stopped working on our resolutions, are back to our previous habits, and have officially failed to keep our promises to ourselves.
This can be extremely discouraging, and different thoughts may come up for you:
“I am a failure.”
“I will never get my shit together.”
“My life will never change.”
“I suck at everything.”
“I will never be happy.”
How many of you have been through this? Probably all of us, and more than once! The reason we don’t keep our resolutions isn’t that we are failures and are unable to make changes, it’s the way we approach our desired goals.
Here are 3 tips that will help you set & achieve your goals in a sustainable way in 2020:
1. SET THE RIGHT GOALS AND SET THEM FOR THE RIGHT REASONS
Often, we set goals we believe we “should” set, or society/our community tells us we “should” be setting, or we set goals society views as acceptable and cool. If the goal you set is not something you truly want for yourself, you are setting yourself up for failure. The truth is that change is hard, and it takes time to create new habits. Also, it’s practically impossible to make a change you don’t truly believe in or really want.
So, do some soul searching and ask yourself what you really want to achieve in 2020. List only 3 goals (they can be as big or small as you please). When you write down your goals, ask yourself these questions:
Why do I want to achieve this? What is the real reason/motivation behind this goal? Be honest with yourself. And every single time you try to talk to yourself out of sticking to your goal, remember the REAL REASON why you want this. Write it down somewhere if it helps! For example: One of my goals is to lose 10 pounds and get back to my ideal weight (where I was 12 months ago). I have given myself 90 days to do so and I have my exercise plan ready to go. The reason WHY I want to achieve this is not for health reasons but is to reduce the cellulite I have in my legs, arms and butt, and feel sexier both in a bikini and naked. That is the honest truth.
What will achieving this goal give me? How will I feel about myself once I achieve it? How will my life be different once I achieve this? How will I be different once I achieve this? Will this goal enrich my mind, body, soul & my life?
Is this goal aligned with my true self and what I truly want for myself? If I close my eyes, think of this goal and imagine myself achieving it…what emotions/feelings come up for me? How do I feel physically and emotionally at the thought of achieving this goal? Would I trade the achieving of this goal for something else?
2. TURTLE STEPS & SETTING YOURSELF UP FOR SUCCESS
So, the new year rolls around, and we suddenly have 15 different goals that we will start doing ASAP at 100% capacity. I know, we all get so excited and overestimate just what we are capable of (I do this all the time hahaha). This is a recipe for disaster and failure. One thing I have learned the hard way is to start slow and ease into things- and this is the formula for sustainable results and success. In coaching, we call it Turtle Steps. You’ve heard the saying, “slow and steady wins the race.”. Well, this is true for achieving goals.
You have already defined your 3 goals of 2020, now I invite you to break each one into at least 5 small, doable steps. Also, start working on one goal at a time, and once you’re into a good flow with the first one, introduce the second one.
For example: if your goal is to start working out more regularly, you can break it down like this:
1. Make a weekly exercise plan. Think of how many times x week you will realistically work out, and what types of exercise you enjoy (walking, yoga, cycling, weight training, Zumba, swimming, jogging, etc?)
2. Write out what your week will look like exercise wise, maybe use excel or Microsoft word to type it all out or write it out on a piece of paper.
3. When can you fit in at least 30 minutes of exercise each day? Early morning, mid-day, or evenings? Be specific.
4. What days will you take off from exercise in order to rest?
5. Once you’re done writing it out, print the schedule and put your schedule on your refrigerator door.
6. Set reminders on your phone each day so you remember to exercise
7. Set motivating prompts to come up on your phone, reminding you of WHY you want to achieve this goal and how good it will feel for you.
8. If your goal is to exercise 5 times x week, ease into it like this:
a. Week 1- at least 1 x week
b. Week 2- at least 2 x week
c. Week 3- at least 3x week
d. Week 4- at least 4 x week
e. Week 5 – 5 x week
If this is a new habit you are incorporating in your life, it takes time to get used to a new routine especially with working out. The key is to:
- Be clear as to WHY this is your goal, and how this goal will make you feel, keeping this in mind whenever you are tempted to not follow through (not work out).
- When starting to work on a goal, break it down into small, doable steps.
- Set yourself up for success: set reminders, get a workout buddy, keep a log, get new workout clothes, try different types of workouts, workout outdoors, create a new playlist, whatever will help you actually go through with it and make the process more enjoyable for you… the more enjoyable the more likely you will stick to it.
3. EXPECT UPS AND DOWNS, EXPECT TO LOSE MOTIVATION, AND KNOW YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHOOSE WHETHER YOU GIVE UP OR YOU DO IT ANYWAY
As I mentioned earlier, working on goals that include creating new habits takes time and dedication. It won’t be easy, but it is doable. And some days/weeks will be easier than others. Understanding that as you go through this process you will experience ups and downs will help you not give up/not lose hope when you go through your first down.
Also, it’s important t understand that you won’t necessarily always feel motivated to work on your goal. As with anything in life, some days we are more tired than others, other days we have zero motivation and the next day we feel super motivated. The key here is for you to know and understand that even if you are not motivated, you are still in control of what you do, and you can CHOOSE to do it anyway. If your goal is to workout 5x week, except several days when you feel zero motivation to do so but know that if you choose not to do it, it’s your own doing.
Working on new goals takes a lot of not BS-ing yourself and treating yourself as you would a child. Your mind will play tricks on you, and you can either fall for it, or not let yourself get away with it and push past those noticing thoughts of just curling up on the couch instead of walking out the door for a jog.
YOU’VE GOT THIS! LET ME KNOW HOW IT GOES!
