Fixing vs Solving a Problem

I recently heard this great podcast by Brooke Castillo (The Life Coach School) about solving problems efficiently and the difference between fixing a problem and solving it

Fixing a problem is finding a short term solution to the result of a problem. For example, if I get a headache every night and I take an ibuprofen, I'm fixing the problem of getting a daily headache.

Solving a problem is getting to the ROOT cause of the problem and addressing that, changing it so that the problem doesn't keep occurring. In the previous example, solving the problem would be to look at what is causing the daily headaches, and fixing that rather than just taking a pill every day.

This made me think about how many of us go our whole lives looking externally in order to finds fixes for our internal state of being…when the solution is actually within ourselves.

I've spent most of my younger years doing just this. For many years I was unhappy, unfulfilled, anxious and depressed. I always looked outward, always thinking that maybe if I had ______ job, lived in ______ city, had a great partner, THEN I would be happy. It took me a long time and many changes in my life (new cities new jobs, new relationships, new hobbies, different travels) to realize that after the novelty of each change wore off , I still felt sad, alone, and unhappy.

Once I gathered the courage to look within and work on myself, I discovered that the solution all along was within me. And in my case it was my lack of self love and not feeling love able that was haunting me and kept me looking externally for a solution. After working on myself, I finally arrived at a place in my life where I was sustainably happy in. Nothing around me changed- I had the same job, was living in the same apartment in the same city, and yet I was now happy, felt fulfilled & joyful.

What kept me suffering all those years was my internal belief that I wasn't lovable. For you it might be something different, but the fact is that our suffering is always related to a limiting belief we may have about ourselves or our situation (I'm not good enough. I'm not worthy. I'm not enough. I'm a failure. I'm a bad parent. I'm a bad son/daughter. I'm not smart enough are some universal limiting beliefs humans have).

Whenever we don't feel well, we tend to distract ourselves from the pain we are feeling or to numb it in one way or another. You and I both know this doesn't solve the problem, those are just temporary fixes. We must allow ourselves to feel the pain, to explore where it's coming from, to deal with it in a healthy way, and then be able to heal and let go.

I invite you to take a deeper look and look for a solution rather than just a temporary fix. Yes it's hard, Yes it takes time, and YES it's the best thing you can ever do for yourself.

If you don't allow yourself to feel the bad, you also become unable to feel the good. And in the end, life is just that- an eternal dance of ups and downs… The downs help us learn and grow and allow us to fully savor the ups.